This is me.

Happy

I used to think that the world was a good place and the people in my life were good people. Naive maybe, but I’d like to think it was just being happy. 

I’ve honestly forgotten what happiness is. I know, I know, poor me :P But in all seriousness, what is it? I thought I was happy when surrounded by friends, with a drink, in the sun, at work with my friends, turns out I’m living a lie. 

Tomorrow is my last exam, does that make me happy? Probably, but I’ve not felt happy in so long, I no longer know what happy is. And I know that spending my Summer in Caithness is certainly not happy. 

What is happy?

xoxo

Urgh.

I’m so sick of people doing what they want when then want and not thinking about the effect it has on people. How long can you pretend to yourself that you’re happy and live the life that you’re actually living. If anyone was in my position - and they told me - I know fine that I’d be telling them how fucking pathetic they’re actually being and to man up and get on with their lives, happy and probably alone! 

Why should one person, not saying just me obviously, but why should one person act the way that others want them to act, worrying incase they treat them like shit, depending on what they do. When, no matter what you do, they infact treat you like shit. The kind of shit that shit would shit if it could. Why can no one man up to see that and why can no one ever take their own advice. 

If we all had a time machine would this be any different, could it change? Probably not. You’d still end up on the same shitty path that you’re on. 
The matter of the fact is that we’re humans, and humans like nothing but wallowing in their own shit. No one helps anyone for nothing and that, is only one of the many many problems that occurs in today’s world. Today’s shitty world. 

xoxo

Grrr.

Now it won’t even let me see the note on my rant. 

Just perfect. 

xoxo

Rant.

I came on here for a rant and then realised that I have nothing to say. 

Life could always be worse, and if you’ve just read this, I’m sure yours did just get worse :P 

My heads all over the place, I love it. 

Sarcasm at it’s finest. 

xoxo

Help.

Someone please tell me how to change my “profile photo” waaaaaa :( 

Imagine.

Imagine someone loving you so much it hurts to be away from you. 

Imagine someone loving you so much they actually enjoy your company.

Imagine someone loving you so much that they tell you and mean it. 

Now stop imagining.

6 Names.

1. your real name: Nicola Edwards

2. your detective name (favorite color and favorite animal): Pink Elephant

3. your soap opera name (middle name and street you live on): Jayne Springfield

4. your star wars name (first three letters of last name, first two of middle name, first two of first, last three of last): Edwjanirds

5. superhero name (color of your shirt, first item to your immediate left): Black Door

6. goth name (black and one of your pets): Black Lucy